Papyrus vs Sans: A Brotherly Battle
by ImpulseFunWritinAnon
Summary: "B-BUT HOW?" stuttered Papyrus. "SANS, ARE YOU CHEATING?" Papyrus, seeking a coherent answer, stared hard at this aggressive, unyielding aspect of his brother. "nope," answered Sans with a wink. "i'm playing fair and square, bro. come now, don't hold back. i've still got a skeleTON of attacks to show you!" [Revised 10/20/2020]
1. Prologue

A snowball fight has gone awry outside of a lively village on a chilly Saturday afternoon. From a distance, the sound of two brothers arguing amongst each other resonated through the air. Of course, the resident monsters of Snowdin knew a loud one-sided argument when they heard one. The shorter and eldest of the two (with a permanently affixed impish grin upon their face), Sans the Skeleton, revels in the reactions of others. A natural comedian (one can catch him performing stand-up comedy at the MTT Resort in the Underground's Hotland), Sans always responds with pithy remarks and speaks concisely—a monster of short words with an affinity for deadpan humor and bad puns with slapstick on the side. Sans also does not aspire for much of anything, lazing about the house and not picking up after himself, always wearing the same blue unzipped hoodie, white t-shirt, black gym shorts and fluffy pink slippers. Very unlike the younger, flamboyant Papyrus the Skeleton, who changes outfits more than daily; with a tendency to be rather loud and artless, Papyrus has but one close friend, who can be just as loud as he.

A warrior and Head of the Royal Guard, Undyne is a fierce fish-monster with a temper to boot. Papyrus had not the temperament of a brute, but the enthusiasm and bravery of a noble soldier—childish and naive, Royal Guard material Papyrus was not. His over-reactions echoing through the woods did not serve to show the makings of a great warrior. So Papyrus cooks over-cooked spaghetti at Undyne's place as part of their 'training regimen' to keep him busy (perhaps to someday forget his Royal Guard aspirations). In the meantime, Papyrus strategizes. He builds puzzles, draws blueprints and makes traps in hopes of capturing a human so that his dream of getting an induction into the Royal Guard finally comes true. Yet, secretly, Papyrus does it in hopes that he may make friends, even if they are human—oh, but how he yearns for friendship, the popularity... The power and prestige!

Papyrus and Sans are so unlike each other, yet Sans admires the brother he has. Steadfast to his ideals and beliefs, Sans, firm in his integrity, finds something to be loved about Papyrus—no one can veer him away from his aspirations. That is something to be valued and revered, so Sans thought.

And so Sans does, reminding Papyrus how 'cool' he is frequently. And Papyrus believes it wholeheartedly, to the point of getting a shirt printed 'COOL DUDE', front and center.

Papyrus—going by the moniker 'The Great Papyrus'—seeks greatness above all.

Sans thinks he is already great.

And so our story begins in an expanse of snow, in the middle of a snowball fight.


	2. A Brotherly Battle

Papyrus has had enough of his brother's cheating tactics. Sans's 'shortcuts' made the snowball fight completely one-sided. In the middle of one of his teleportation ventures, Sans had the gall to teleport to his illegal hotdog stand in Hotland to grab a 'hotcat', come back, and throw more magical tracking snowballs at an astonished Papyrus, his favorite 'COOL DUDE' shirt, gym shorts, long socks, workout gloves and sports shoes sodden with slush. This sort of fooling around did not bode well for the more impatient of the two, who just wanted to have some brotherly, casual fun. Papyrus decided to call him out on his cheating.

"SAAAAANS! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR LAZY ANTICS! YOU ARE SO UNFAIR!"

Sans leaned on his immaculate snow fort, a hotcat held in his left hand. "i don't meow about you, bro, but i've been having an absolute blast."

"UGH! THAT'S IT! THIS ISN'T FUN FOR ME ANYMORE!" said Papyrus, then sighed with frustration. "YOU KNOW, SANS, I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE TO MESS WITH ME, AND PRANK ME FOR FUN AND ALL, BUT..."

Papyrus paused, looking down at his snow fort, barely having any semblance of its former glory.

"but?" Sans inquired as he chewed on the hotcat.

Papyrus took a deep breath, and quickly uttered, "I THINK THAT WE SHOULD SETTLE THIS ANOTHER WAY."

Sans stared, dumbfounded (for once) and unsettled by what Papyrus suggested.

"uh, care to elaborate, papyrus? snow way i'll be able to read your mind, you know."

Sans felt dirty telling a lie by pleading ignorance. He could surmise rather well what Papyrus meant, and Sans did not like it one bit.

"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT, BROTHER! I'M TIRED OF BEING PRANKED, TIRED OF THE SHORTCUTS! 'FRANKLY'" —Papyrus smirked at his great wit— "I'M TIRED OF NOT UNDERSTANDING YOUR METHODS! SO, IN OTHER WORDS—"

Papyrus, taking a confident stance, stomped his right foot forward. Pointing directly at his lazy brother, he declared: "SHOW ME, SANS! I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF!"

Sans looked around to see if Papyrus was attempting to prank him for once. But why look? Papyrus is one for cunning japes, not out-in-the-open pranks like this...

"heh, i don't know about that, papyrus," chuckled Sans. "i would be beat within the first few seconds, and ya don't want that. listen..."

Sans finished the rest of his hotcat, then proceeded to stroll towards Papyrus. "i will quit with the pranks for today, ok? i got an idea, bro: let's go back home and watch tv. we can eat some of your spag—"

"SAAANS! I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME, OR EAT SPAGHETTI! DON'T TRY TO TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS! EVEN IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND AND DECIDE TO STOP MESSING WITH ME FOR A MONTH, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GO BACK TO YOUR PRANKS ANYWAY!" snapped Papyrus. Then, with a gallant gesture, Papyrus bid him to come hither. "COME NOW, BROTHER! LET US HAVE A STUPENDOUS BROTHERLY BATTLE, RIGHT NOW!"

"pap, do you really wanna do this?"

Papyrus, inwardly apprehensive, yet resolved, faced his brother with a fiery gleam in his eyes, grinning. "YES, BROTHER! MORE THAN ANYTHING!"

Sans started to get it. Sweat beads gathered at the top of his skull from the tension. Unnerved, yet unable to say 'no' to Papyrus's extraordinary persistence, Sans complied with his younger brother's request. Afterall, the last thing Sans wants is to let him down. Ever. Sans gathered his thoughts to mentally prepare for the imminent battle. He took a calm, deep breath and said: "ok."

"OK? THAT'S IT?"

Papyrus gaped at his flaky brother's sudden compliance to such a request; Sans had little stamina to spare. Regardless, Papyrus couldn't back out now. He is more ready than ever before, determined to see this battle to the end. Or, whenever they both tire.

"WELL, IF YOU INSIST, BROTHER—!"

Sans, wasting no time, engaged immediately, rushing forwards with remarkable speed.

"HEY—OOF!"

Papyrus staggered at the headbutt to the chest, falling back from his brother's body weight. The snow softening the impact, his first instinct: magically manipulate Sans's SOUL blue. Unable to move normally, Sans gasped. Papyrus flung Sans from on top of him. He let out a breath of relief (and surprise) seeing Sans's deliberate bound off a tree, landing on his feet the next instance with a grunt.

Sans's grin then took a wild and elated appearance, his left eye flashing with a tint of yellow and cyan colors. Quickly extending his left hand, he took hold of Papyrus's SOUL, turning him blue right back. With a mere wave of his hand, Sans launched him off the ground—Papyrus screaming, "SAAAANS!"—towards Sans's shoddy sentry station.

Wood splints and sawdust spread at Papyrus's crash.

Papyrus, teetering and disoriented from the collision headfirst, blinked, feeling stunned. Do my eyes deceive me? Could it be that my brother can fight? How much has he been hiding all these years? His thoughts overwhelming his being, Papyrus groaned in frustration. "OHHH!" He kicked a broken wood board, stomping his way out of the wooden wreckage. "YOU NEVER TELL ANYBODY ANYTHING! IT'S FRUSTRATING! WHY DID YOU NOT THINK TO TELL THE GREAT PAPYRUS ABOUT YOUR CREEPY FLASHING LEFT EYE?" said Papyrus, demanding an answer. "HOW DID YOU GET IT!?"

"beats me, bro. all i know is that it's super cool. wanna see what else i can do? i think you'll find it—" Sans's smile widened, his left eye strengthening its ardent, menacing glow "—rather sansational."

He retook control of Papyrus's SOUL, flinging him up into the air.

"BROTHER, STOP! STOOOP!"

This is it. Calculating the next move carefully, Sans slammed his screaming brother up and down with the most minimal damage—Papyrus had no sins to atone for; the karmic retribution inflicted no pain. But oh, how Papyrus screamed and screamed, thinking himself in danger.

Papyrus is only a danger to himself.

God, I hate scaring Papyrus like this, sighed Sans, frowning. Just then, he flung Papyrus off to the side as an afterthought, hearing him from the corner of his thoughts yelling about 'unfairness' and 'showing bad sportsmanship'. There is no need to take this any further. I need to startle him a little more until he gives up on this nonsense.

Papyrus panicked, his breathing uneven from the heat of battle. He started to wish he hadn't insisted so much on a fight. Maybe it is a better idea to let the unfair snowball fight pass, and go home to eat spaghetti. Papyrus, however, is not easily deterred. On the contrary: he is dead-set in his ways (to Sans's veiled chagrin).

"I HAVE GIVEN OUR BATTLE A SECOND THOUGHT," began Papyrus, "YOU ASKED ME IF I WISH TO SEE MORE. THE ANSWER IS YES, BROTHER!"

Growling with internal exasperation, Sans turned Papyrus blue again, propelling him high into the air.

"FURTHERMORE," continued Papyrus, upside-down beneath the twinkling dark sky of Underground winter, "I URGE YOU NOT TO STOP! I HAVE NOT EVEN GOTTEN STARTED YET!" Smirking, Papyrus repositioned himself while airborne. Within a second, he summoned a barrage of bones to rain down on Sans, as Papyrus braced himself to bash Sans with his body.

Papyrus landed on him with a thud!, sending them both rolling and sprawling on the ground until one of them got the upper hand. Quickly, Papyrus pinned Sans's arms down.

Sans went to Plan B.

"heya, pap, that's a nice pile of bones you got there," said Sans, inspecting the bones raining from the heavens. "too bad they are as good as gone."

Sans evoked four terrifying skeletal maws with a flick of his hands, each the same amalgamation of a goat, a dragon and a deer. His left eye shined, flashing intensely. In an instant, he focused the terrific gaping mouths onto Papyrus, swiftly beginning to charge a harsh, burning light in the back of their mighty jaws.

Papyrus gasped at the sight. Horrified, he scuttled away from Sans, trying to stand but managed a half-kneeling position, spellbound by the otherworldly monster heads, terror vibrating down to the marrow.

This latent power, marvelous in striking horror within me… The capacity my brother has to annihilate his foes… None of this makes sense!

Just as Papyrus prepared to devise his next plan of action, the light at the back of their terrible mouths fired incandescent lasers, decimating his barrage of bones, flakes of bone meal drifting in the wind.

"B-BUT HOW?" stuttered Papyrus. "SANS, ARE YOU CHEATING!?" Papyrus, seeking a coherent answer, stared hard at this aggressive, unyielding aspect of his brother.

"nope," answered Sans with a wink. "i'm playing fair and square, bro. come now, don't hold back. i've still got a skeleTON of attacks to show you!"

His left eye flashing on and off, Sans took control of his brother's SOUL yet again, and led him through the air towards the snow at high velocity. Unable to help himself, Sans stopped manipulating his SOUL and let momentum take care of the rest. Papyrus's body ripped through the snow, sliding head-first into the bitter cold ground.

Humiliated, Papyrus faced reality: he is having a bad time.

After subduing Papyrus, Sans's left eye went back to normal, leaving the twinkling light of his pupils studying his younger brother with amusement.

"welp. papyrus, this battle is getting kind of—" Sans yawned "—boring. care to take a shortcut back home to eat some of your tasty spaghetti?"

Sans barely made out the muffled voice of Papyrus, head burrowed deep into the snow. "NO! YOU MAY HAVE BEEN VICTORIOUS THIS TURN, BUT YOU WON'T BE SO LUCKY NEXT TIME!"

Eager to continue the battle, Papyrus promptly pulled himself out of his embarrassing position and rushed towards Sans.

"EN GARDE, BROTHER!"

He summoned more bones than before, cuspidated and in a more splendid array of lengths and sharpness. Papyrus did not look very happy. Ego wounded, he was hellbent on besting his older brother, once and for all.

I must prove myself to him!

"DODGE THIS!"

Papyrus rapidly conjured wave after wave of bones, both blue and ordinary. But oh no! What if my brother can't survive this?

"ok."

Sans continued to dazzle and amaze Papyrus. Standing still as the bones headed straight at him, Sans began to dodge every projectile, moving to and fro (and stilling when needed): he pivoted, twirled and swiveled as if dancing, graceful as can be; his agility—mystifying. Sans's poise did not falter for a moment. The lax, calm look on his toothy-grinned face beamed at Papyrus, speaking wonders and mysteries, enchanting in its lackadaisical nature.

"did i evade to your liking, pap?" asked Sans, brushing sleet off his sleeves. "the fun's just beginning. although, i'm not entirely sure if i'm supposed to be having fun at this point. my offer is still on the table," Sans said with a friendly wink, "just so you know."

Papyrus didn't know what to say anymore, nor which attack he should use next.

I've been going too easy on him! Need I bring out my special attack so soon? But it has come to this. So, that settles it! I'll scare him back to normal—he will know I mean serious business!

Papyrus, feeling confident, felt a part of him filled with determination.

Unfortunately, he did not know what this meant as far as side-effects go.

"BROTHER, I REFUSE YOUR KIND OFFER! I AM NOW MORE DETERMINED THAN EVER TO SHOW YOU WHAT I'M MADE OF, ESPECIALLY AFTER WITNESSING YOUR MAGICAL PROWESS! YOU WILL NOT BEST THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"

Sans's SOUL sank into a pit in his stomach as he heard those fatal words. Determined! Oh god, why? I should have NEVER agreed to this!

"wait, papyrus," said Sans, "stop it! stop right now!"

Papyrus blinked, stopping mid-motion.

"i mean it, don't go a step further! that's it," he said as his younger brother took a neutral stance. "good. guess what, papyrus? i give up. you win. it's all good now—"

"THAT IS SO LIKE YOU, SANS!" Papyrus said, stomping his foot in disapproval. "IF I AM GOING TO WIN, I SHALL WIN FAIR AND SQUARE!"

Papyrus, unwilling to heed Sans's warning, left Sans little choice. "fine. be that way.

"i'm sorry for what i am about to do, papyrus. but it's for your own good."

Sans started traipsing around, making some sort of strange pattern and closed his eyes a moment. He opened them the next instant as he lazily marched on, his right eye pitch black, and his radiant left eye flashing a neon yellow and light-blue. The colors were so intensely lucent as he bounded onto the opposite side of the shape he made, that they left a rainbow-like flare, streaks of it running into each other like an oil painting, mingling in the air with a faint transcending tint of light in waves, the flurry of snow seeming to congregate in the wake of the trail of light.

This kind of power remained entirely unknown to Sans himself, but he had to go above and beyond for his little brother.

I'm not going to let the light of my life—the only one that truly matters to me—die on me! It is now or never.

Sans decided, for once, to put effort into his next attack, believing it essential to saving Papyrus's life and closed his eyes once more. What followed showcased Sans's mastery of the arcane, evident to a flabbbergasted Papyrus. Upon opening his eyes, the amount of focus and effort had his right eye go dark, hollow and lightless, again; his left eye in a state of frenzy. Sans, his countenance deceiving, tightened: furrows above his eye sockets gave him the look of utmost concentration as his grin widened—all features contorted into a manic, merciless expression.

For Papyrus—eyes wide in horror—it nearly brought him to his knees.

"papyrus," said Sans calmly, "i'll give you 'til the count of ten to run. if you aren't gone by the time i hit nine, i will let loose an attack that i haven't used before, so please, step aside, go home... or i will not hesitate to use it."

Papyrus, startled by his brother's change in his laid-back demeanor, never felt more ready to run for his life. This is not my brother!

He panicked, his anxiety rising the longer he gawked at Sans.

I will not stand for this!

I must keep going! I cannot give up so easily!

"BROTHER. ALTHOUGH THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE SCARES ME SO, YOUR INTIMIDATION TACTICS WILL NOT FAZE THE GREAT PAPYRUS OUT OF BATTLE! NOT NOW, NOT EVER!"

Standing proud and grinning with triumph, Papyrus thought he checkmated Sans. Deep inside Papyrus knew Sans would not dare hurt him in any lifetime.

A profound silence—save for the smooth whistling wind chill traversing the evergreens; the scent of pine drifted along the night breeze, invigorating the senses in the snow-blanketed expanse—filled the area with dread. There are two SOULs indeed in high spirits on this calm, beautiful dark afternoon. But they feel not a jolly high, but a feverish, chaotic high. The magical miasma—the increasing pressure—gathered around the brothers; it reeked of burnt bone marrow.

One of them is about to receive the single greatest, most unrelenting beat-down of their lives, yet both got cornered into each other's cunning plans to scare the other off.

Sans realized that he forgot to start counting down. The situation became much too startling, taking a surreal atmosphere that made him forget himself; yet Sans couldn't help but feel like he had no choice but to face his brother to save him.

Belatedly, Sans responded in a low voice, magically carried in the wind: "so be it."

Sans raised both hands from his pockets and languidly shut his eyes in utmost concentration, preparing to evoke something potent, something awful. Papyrus, also realizing that Sans was supposed to start counting, threw his arms out heavenwards, his face frowning with interwoven worry and confusion, and a stabbing disappointment. "SANS! YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO COUNT TO TEN, YOU CHEATER!"

A magical pressure dominated the area, a behemoth-sized skull rising above Sans—eyes wide open and flickering eerie colors—its diabolic structure and terrific teeth and bright eyes looking as if it came straight from some faraway hellscape. It resembled Sans's standard skeletal Blasters, except this one had a more primordial, bestial design. A bloodthirsty, sanguine glow (so very unfitting on a monstrosity such as this, for what good is it to hope for a bloodbath?) ignited within its eye sockets—it was depraved, horrible to behold. How is this possible? Even Sans doesn't know, as this goes beyond his scientific research into the arcane. His only concern is to make sure Papyrus backs off before his determination takes over his body and turns him into one of those pitiful creatures—those Amalgamates, suffering and rotting away—in Alphys's lab. Sans refused to let another monster fall victim to the power of determination.

Sans, standing still, lowered his hands, shoving them back into his pockets, as the stygian maw took a life of its own, giving itself a more macabre body, claws and all, and a lurid glare, promising violence (if this were another universe, one could say the monstrosity had an uncanny resemblance to the God of Hyperdeath, had Sans seen Asriel's demiurge state with his own eyes). Sans, at this moment, didn't care about this new sinister power looming over him; he would have to research another time.

As Sans slowly closed his eyes—with the last flicker of yellow and sky-blue—he let the hellish monster loose on his brother, but not before Sans took a step toward the terrible beast.

"please," said Sans, "whatever you are..."

In the face of his outrageous creation, his expression shuttered, whispering: "don't kill my brother."

Sans stepped out of the monster's way, followed by the most demonic, warlike screech, the cry reverberating through the snowy forest. The snow that lay still on the pines shook off from the vibrations.

Papyrus, despite his stubborn perseverance, knew that he has at last reached his limits. Yet, he refused to give up once again as he faced the demon rushing at him, ready to give Papyrus a devastating, crushing fatal blow. Sans couldn't bear to watch.

"SANS, THIS IS SICKENING! REGARDLESS OF HOW HOPELESS THIS SITUATION IS LOOKING FOR ME... I ACCEPT THIS CHALLENGE! BECAUSE I AM WILLING TO HOPE THAT I MAY BEST THIS FOUL BEAST!"

The monster got closer and closer, then leapt at Papyrus.

And just as soon as the beast reached the younger brother, Sans raised his left hand in the air, recalling his frightening creation. It dissipated in front of Papyrus, leaving a dusty shimmer of celestial blue and canary yellow in the flurries of snow swaying in the wind around them.

"you win. i forfeit the battle, pap. i can't do this to you."

Ashamed, Sans began self-reflection: this was a test of my character. Of course he passed. He had known better than to test his brother to his limits: for Papyrus is innocent, hopeful and naive, much too pure and oblivious to face life's greatest strifes; to face the primordial beast. No, Sans saw it best to leave the beast residing in the darkest confines of his magics be.

Papyrus lowered his guard, his determination diminishing at the sight of his downtrodden older brother. It pained him greatly to see him like this.

"HEY, SANS," Papyrus approached his brother, laying his hand on Sans's shoulder, "I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT ALTHOUGH YOU ARE SUPER LAZY, NEGLIGENT OF YOUR PET ROCK, AND REFUSE TO PICK UP THAT SOCK IN THE LIVING ROOM—"

Sans remembered the sock alright. "heh. sorry."

"—YOU ARE THE BEST BROTHER ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR. I WOULDN'T GIVE YOU UP FOR THE WORLD!" declared Papyrus sincerely. "YOU DO CARE ABOUT ME, AND THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME." Papyrus shed tiny glimmers of tears. He rubbed them off quickly, only to have more tears sneak by from the corners of his eyes. Papyrus shook them off, regaining his confident posture, and continued to comfort Sans.

"I'M SORRY SANS, FOR NOT LISTENING.I KNOW THAT DESPITE ALL YOUR FAULTS, YOU DO KNOW BETTER AT TIMES. YOU ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST TO LOOK OUT FOR ME—DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE! EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES, I FEEL LIKE YOU DO MORE THAN YOU APPEAR TO BE DOING. THAT IS WHY I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ACCEPT YOUR FORFEIT FROM THIS BATTLE!"

Sans let out a heavy, relieved sigh. "finally. you were starting to scare me, papyrus. i suggest not going through that again. as in, not even suggest. just plain, ol' never in our lives again."

Papyrus stared wide-eyed. "YOU? SCARED? WHAT ABOUT ME, SANS? IF YOU WERE SCARED, JUST THINK ABOUT HOW SCARED I WAS: SCARED SENSELESS!"

"heh. scaredy cat."

"UGH SAAAAANS! DARN YOU AND YOUR HOTCAT REFERENCES! I AM SICK OF IT!" Papyrus turned his back on his brother, folding his arms.

"come ooon, bro, you're smiling."

"I AM SMILING AND I HATE IT!"

"let's go home, papyrus. we'll take a shortcut, just for kicks." Sans suddenly took notice of his broken sentry station. "oh, uh, yeah, also, before you start going on about my sentry station being all messed u—"

"DO NOT FRET, DEAR BROTHER! FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO FIX UP YOUR STATION! IT'S A SMALL FEAT FOR THIS SKELETON!"

Sans looked up at Papyrus with awe. "you are so cool, bro. i'm glad to have a brother like you. and i wouldn't give you up for all the universes."

Papyrus looked at Sans in confusion, yet he couldn't help but feel a positive connotation in his words. "SANS, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT, BUT I HAVE A FEELING THAT IT CAN ONLY MEAN GREAT THINGS!"

"yeah, pap. great things for sure. also," said Sans as an afterthought, "don't tell anybody else about what happened here, 'aight?"

"SURE THING, BROTHER!" said Papyrus, adoration clear on his face. "ANYTHING FOR YOU!"

"that is so cool," breathed Sans. "you are so cool."

"OH MY GOD, SANS, COMPLIMENTS ASIDE, WILL YOU EVER STOP SAYI—"

"so cool."

"SANS."

"so cool."

"SANS!"

"so cool."

"SAAAAANS


End file.
